TAG ARCHIVES: friends
I have a terrible habit of taking hand-me-downs. Whether they be clothes, (unopened/never been used) beauty products, books or accessories. I love taking pieces off people, especially when you know I’ll get some use out of it.
But with all possessions, they do get old, you do tire of them and eventually you’re trying to get them off your own hands but you just can’t part yourself with it.
This practice then leads to hoarding and over cluttering, which I am very guilty of.
My thought process is this… people have paid good money for something and for whatever reason they’re over it and don’t want it anymore. Why throw it out? Especially if there’s nothing wrong with it.
But when I take ownership over something and it doesn’t really work out, it literally pains me to get rid of it. Again, my mind is telling me, “Someone has worked hard for that… and you’re just going to throw it out?”
A few months ago my mother gave me a cream cleanser she thought would be good for me. It ticked all the boxed. Cruelty-free, check. Organic, check. Australian made and owned, check. But when I gave it go, there was an ingredient in it that made my skin break out. I could never use it again. But for months that followed I held onto it because it was something my mother had bought for me in good faith that I would use it.
When you get to a certain age where you earn your own money, you feel that it’s extremely unnecessary for your parents to buy things for you. I believe the same thing goes with parents; at a certain age they don’t take any value in things you’ve spent money on for them. They would rather you keep your money and the only “spending” you do on them is your time. (Maybe that doesn’t go for everyone, but I know my parents would rather me spend a few hours a week with them rather than my money.) So, when my mother bought me this cleanser I was not only grateful but guilty that she did.
A friend once handed me down a loose powder which she had bought online that was too dark for her. Knowing that my skintone darker, she gave it to me but for whatever reason it didn’t work for me either and I simply never used it. But again, I held onto it because she had spent her money her hard earned money on it and I would feel absolutely awful throwing it out. I did eventually and for months that followed, I feared she’d ask me how the product worked for me and I’d tell her that I threw it out.
Several months later I eventually brought it up with her and confessed that I had thrown it out. Her response was, “What loose powder? …I forgot all about it.”
This mindset stems from the time when my father gave me a David Jones voucher worth a very large sum of money. He had received it from his work for his 20th year anniversary of service and without a second thought he gave it to me.
I couldn’t believe that my father worked for two decades and when receiving such a generous gift simply handed it over to me. While he could have easily spent it on a nice suit for the office, or a couple of nice shirts, ties or casual wear… nope, he decided it was better off in my hands.
When I was given such a gift I made sure that I wasn’t going to spend it on something I didn’t need. Although dad has said to me, “You can use that for your makeup stuff.” I decided that I was going to spend it on something worth while and show him that his twenty years of working didn’t go in vain.
Not only did this prove to me that my dad is the coolest and the most generous dude on earth, I promised that I was going to see the value in everything, especially if it was something I didn’t earn myself.
A slight change of pace for this post. This month I’m going to talk about moving on… to bigger and better things and getting what you truly deserve. You can apply this to your relationships, work, family and everyday life. In this post, I’m going to use my mobile service provider as an example.
Four years ago when I was in search of a new plan for my mobile, I went to numerous different shops to ask about their deals. This particular service provider insisted they were the best. So much so, their network was quiet competitive to the number one provider in Australia in terms of coverage and plan prices. They even stated that smaller services used their towers as well. Impressive, right?
To add to that, because I had internet with them already they hooked me in with a, “Because you’re already a [name withheld] customer, we’ll give you a deal…” I thought I was set!
But from day one all I had was issues. In fairness to them, at the time I did live further out of the CBD, but I worked less than 5km away full-time and day after day all I had one or two bars of reception. I thought I’d just have to “deal with it” and that was as good a service as I was paying for.
Or so I thought.
Eighteen months into my 24-month contract I received a call from their feedback department, asking how I liked their services. I’m not one to sugar-coat things and I told them point blank that I wasn’t pleased. I explained that I always got one or two bars reception and often, even whilst in the CBD my calls to disconnect mid-conversation. I was paying $98 per month, which included insurance on my iPhone and I clearly wasn’t happy with that.
To add insult to this, the woman had said, “For an extra $18 per month, we can give you five bars worth of reception.”
I’m sorry… but WHAT?! So, the $98 a month I’m already giving you is worth the two bars – at best – reception all this time? Stupid me, I thought I was already supposed to be getting five bars.
I was annoyed and absolutely determined to see through til the end of my contract and move on.
But by the end of my 24-month plan, they reeled me in again. Promising that they’ll do better and give a credit on my account and also include a brand new iPhone. I was played once again. Big, BIG mistake.
Time and time again, I was ripped off… still with two bars of reception, calls cutting out and even when I had moved to Paddington I still ran into problems.
I work in a hospital five days a week and my desk is literally 10 meters from an entrance. I can smell air, hear traffic and see what the weather is like and all the while my phone sits on “SOS only”. I can’t even count the times a family member or friend has called me and said, “I’ve tried to call you, but it went straight to voicemail.” And even with that, they wouldn’t even tell me I had any voicemail – so again I ask, why do I have voicemail notifications switched on? I don’t even know I have anything on there til a week later.
Numerous times I’ve tweeted them asking why my phone is on “SOS only” and time and time again, they fail to provide a basic service. They blame me saying that I hadn’t updated Apple software or their services. They’ve even blamed my handset – which they provided for me or the sim card, which again was provided by them. And even when I thought I might take their advice and replace the sim card, they had the audacity to not replace it – but to charge me for it.
The final straw for me was when I called to cancel my service with them. I had enough. I couldn’t handle it any longer. I was willing to pay whatever I could to get out of their books for good.
Like I mentioned earlier, I work in a hospital, which means I often work nights. I had called just before 7pm and while I was mid-sentence, they hung up on me. 7pm was the accounts quitting time and therefore my call was no longer of any importance to them after 7pm.
When I had tried to call them back to make a complaint, I was met with the most repulsive guy on the phone who made snide comments and didn’t think before he spoke. He was like a sullen teenager who always who was argumentative and had to have the last word. He said, “Well, you’ve been with us for almost four years now, you’re still a customer for a reason!” Honestly, what a thing to say and I wasn’t putting up with it. I switched on pseudo-mum mode and spoke to this ‘kid’ like he was five. (Which is insulting to actual five year-olds because I’ve seen better behaved than this guy.)
And because he didn’t like the fact that I was putting him in his place and didn’t like what he was hearing, he even had the nerve to hang up on me a second time! Yep, threw a big fat boy tantrum and hung up in my face.
That was now two hang-ups in one night. Had I attempted to call a third time, no doubt I would have made a trifecta.
In the morning, when I called them, my number was blacklisted and instead of ringing it went straight to an automated message saying my call was being diverted to a manager. Wow, this was the lowest point of this service provider’s so-called “customer service”. Called twice, one to cancel my account and get hung up on TWICE, it was all my fault that I deserved this.
I remained calm the entire time and said I didn’t appreciate that I was hung up on twice and I wanted out of their contact immediately. The guy tried to reel me in a third time – there was no chance in HELL I was falling for it; first time, shame on you. Second time, shame on me.
In the end he admitted defeat and credited my account with $40.00, advised that I wait til April 6th was a better day to opt out because I won’t be charged. With their last shred of dignity, I have to give them props for that. What a sorry sack of crap.
So, the moral of this story is… when you see those little red flags come up in certain situations or around certain people, they’re waving around for a reason. They are not to be ignored, but try and steer you away from an awful situation. Had I learned this after the first 24-month contract, I wouldn’t be in this situation four years later. I’ve wasted a lot of money paying for service that wasn’t worth it, put up was rude sales and call centers and was promised good things that were never delivered.
It’s time to move on. No matter how strong the friendship is or how much time, effort, money and emotion spent on something… if the puzzle pieces don’t fit – don’t force them to. There will ALWAYS be better things out there for you and as those old saying goes, when a door closes another one will open.
And that’s a promise that WILL be delivered to you.
I do this every New Year and around my birthday; cull, assess and set new paths for myself.
They’re not ‘goals’ because let’s face it, as soon as we categorise something as a ‘goal’ it’s one of those things that rarely gets accomplished.
I am extremely fortunate to have many different types of friends from all walks of life, ethnicities and styles.
But when you mix with many different groups of people you’re bound to mingle with people you don’t really get a long with. Often this is a person who is friends with a friend of mine, I although I play nice for the sake of our mutual friend, we can’t be friends with everyone.
I was recently reminded of this; there are just people out there who just don’t bring anything wholesome and positive to my life and I’m sure that even I don’t bring anything good to other peoples’ lives, also.
Over the last couple of months I’ve been on a culling spree of friends, filtering out those with whom I have a good association with the ones I don’t.
It’s nothing personal, it’s just that we don’t “mesh” well together and by no means is there any bad blood between us.
One of my closest friends said to me about a year ago that if something doesn’t immediately affect you, there is no reason to worry yourself over it.
This also applies to people. Why get upset over someone you don’t get along with when you have a hundred other friends already?
Have you had to cull friendships?
Thank you for being mine for the last 366 days. Once again, thank you for your patience this week. I love you.
Thank you for near killing me during your monthly bath. Always appreciated. But at least you smell nice now.
As always, you’ve been a delight to hang out with. I’ve particularly enjoyed watching you sitting in your mirror and kissing yourself.
Dear Centennial Park
I really enjoyed spending time with you this week. I think I’ll make a weekly visit over the Summer. Also, I’m loving the new generation of geese – baby Ryan is my favourite – and ducks.
Dear job interview
Please pull through for me. PLEASE.
I had a lot of fun on Tuesday morning. I really liked seeing myself in the local paper, too.
Thank you for being my friends. Thank you for being gorgeous, supportive, stern and checking up on me daily. Honestly, I could not have survived this week. Thank you for kicking my butt and telling I went too far. Thank you for your tough love.
Dear 2013 stationery
I got to start using you this week. Although it’s premature, it’s always exciting to start a new diary. Here’s to the next twelve months together.
PLEASE, for just one month can I just live my life without the added stress of worrying about you? If it’s just not too much as ask. If you’re able to do this, I promise I will nourish with good organic food, apply only the best beauty products, wear the most floral perfumes and wear the prettiest dresses. It will be greatly appreciated.
I appreciate your patience this week. I know it hasn’t been easy for you, but I love that you’re still standing by me. You’re the greatest.
My sweet darling girl. Another week with you that was full of laughter, joy and happiness.
I’m sorry that I woke you up several times that night I decided to sleep on the couch. You were such a beautiful pocket full of sunshine the following morning. I loved how your feathers looked too.
Thank you for being a wonderful soul and saved me from such a horrid day. You are truly one a kind. Thank you bunny.
I have under estimated you once again. After spending a night by the harbour with the dude, watching the city light up and the boats float in and out of the harbour, I have grown in love with you again. I like that I fall in and out of love with you often; it keeps me on my toes and coming back for more.
Thank you for night at the hotel. I enjoyed eating on the terrace with you, eating zerts in bed and waking up next to you to the sound of Hotel California.
Let’s do it again sometime.
You have been a delight this week. I know you’re getting annoyed that I’m always around but I love that you’re always by my side; whether it be on the foot stool by my computer desk, on the pillow at the head of my bed, or on my lap while I watch TV, you are always there… purring.
Thank you for the laughs this week on Twitter, there hasn’t been a dull moment with you ladies. Thank you for having my back when a certain so-called beauty “guru” blocked me on Twitter, thank you for making rosebud “slave” even more hilarious than I ever could have imagined, thank you for the invites to lunches and thank you for coming with me to see the final Twilight premiere at midnight. I love you all! Thank you so much for being my friends.
Dear former BFF
Don’t make yourself too comfortable. Just because I called doesn’t mean I want to rekindle my friendship with you. You are forever in the arm’s length circle of friends.
Dear maxi dresses
I love that you’re slowing coming back into fashion this season. I particularly like the fact that some of you come with short sleeves this year and not just the generic singlet sleeves. You are possibly the only item of clothing I don’t mind wearing horizontal stripes, too. So look out, I’m moving in for the next one hundred days!
YOU WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME THIS WEEK!
I promised myself I wouldn’t fall in love with friends’ blogs just so it doesn’t look like I’m constantly plugging them, but I’m finding that when you click with a person on Twitter or emails, you automatically love their blog as well.
This month I’m in love with my friend Liz’s blog…
I love that her blog as bits of everything: makeup, music, personal life (cats included) and food. It’s nice to see bloggers aren’t too one dimensional; a good mix is what I’ve always liked to see.
♥ LOVE your work Liz! xx
Dear Face of Australia Cosmetics
I absolutely LOVE your products at the moment and I’m constantly being impressed by not only what you have but the price as well. From your Mineral Therapy Illuminators for $14 to Pretty Pastels Nailpolish collection for $4.95 each… your lipsticks have SPF30. Amazing! I can’t wait to try out your brow kit later on this month!
Dear Green Apple TicTacs
Why are you so delicious and tempting all the time? Every time I see you I just have to pick you have you living in my handbag. Furthermore, what are you exactly? A breath freshener? A lolly? Maybe I will never know.
Dear Melbourne Cup
I miss being in Melbourne and having a day off to actually go to the races. How I wish I was able to get the time off work, fly down to Melbourne and be with my friends on the grace by the finish line.
Just when I thought my last place of employment was shit, YOU take the cake! Never in my life have I witnessed such a group of rude and racist human beings in a small office before in my life! I can’t believe people like you still exist. Good riddance!
I’m sorry. For everything. I love you. I look forward to spending time with you on Monday night.
Thank you for the spooning sessions in the morning, they are lovely! Especially when you are the big spoon.
I didn’t appreciate you waking me up at 3am because you thought it was important to tell me that there was a spider on the ceiling and that you up-chucked on my bed in the middle of the night, but it’s still a joy to be your mother.
Finally, I got to see you for the first time in a fortnight. You are still loud, hilarious and just a silly little bird that I just adore. Screech on!
I had a lot of fun with you this year. Although my initial getup didn’t arrive on time (completely my fault) I managed to come up with a plan B at short notice. Drank a lot, had a good ol’ Aussie BBQ, saw some awesome costumes. I can’t wait til next year.
Without embarrassing you too much, I’ll keep this short – I’m so glad to have you back honey. You continue to make me overwhelmingly happy. Thank you for the extra five minutes sleep I request each morning we wake up next to each other.
You are by far the cutest thing I have ever seen. I will never understand why you like to sleep with your bottom facing me or why you think it’s a good idea to get your paw stuck in my makeup drawers, but you are HILARIOUS!
You rule my life this week.
I’m so glad I have found a friend in you. I love how you like all my Instagram photos and favourite all my tweets. You are THE BEST! x
HAPPY FRIDAY! One of my gorgeous friends Liz started doing these over on her blog and has kindly allowed me do my own here.
Thank you Liz! ♥
You were far the worst day this week. I have never cried during business hours or on work premises but I am close. You really tested me, Tuesday and I’m hoping that we don’t argue like that again.
Dear bad food
With the exception of Monday night when Topher cooked the most amazing organic dinner, you have been the bane of my existence! I didn’t enjoy consuming you one bit and I’m hoping we don’t bump into each other next week.
Thank you for being wonderful this week. You have made me laugh, smile, nervous, excited and above all – HAPPY – to be your best friend. Thank you for buying me a burger after I had gotten home from dinner because I said I was going to be still hungry. Thank you sharing your t-shirts. Thank you for your silly talk. I’m looking forward to doing it all again next week.
You have proven that damage can be done within ten minutes. Jolly good. I know the steer clear from you for a little while. Or at least til my bank account get replenished again.
I’m sorry I haven’t emailed you all week. I feel like there is a massive space in my heart when I just can’t email you and talk about random things. It makes me feel like a bad friend, but it just goes to show how much you mean to me.
You’ve been a pretty cool cat this week, even when you’re have found it absolutely necessary to make yourself a bed on my bum when I’m sleeping on my tummy and when you always feel the need to be on the other side of every closed door. You are a delight! And just because you are, you have been rewarded with a bath this weekend. Super fun happy times ahead!
See you all next week!